Interbent

Did you ever hear the one about the guy who woke up in Vegas in a bathtub full of ice? Right, supposedly he had his kidney stolen after being drugged. The world is full of urban legends, and most are too dubious on their surface to be believable.

But…before you get the idea that we’re about to spend time dispelling any of your favorite urban legends, we’d like to state clearly that we only intend on adding one to your list.

You see, for more than two decades now there has been an amusing urban legend that has spread, rather quietly, among those predisposed to finding entertainment in potty humor.

Paraphrasing, it goes something like this:

A few decades ago, Ford hired a marketing guy who was easily amused by references to a certain posterior anatomical feature. Surreptitiously, he began working to ensure that Ford vehicles had names that became surprisingly funny with the word “butt” in front of them (though some prefer to use the three letter synonym; both work well).

When this (likely) fictitious Ford marketer first gained enough influence to name a model, he, of course, opted for “Probe,” and the jokes began in earnest. Probe? Yes, Ford named their then-futuristic looking model the Probe, undoubtedly alluding to the probing of deep space (though it wasn’t exactly deep space that had some of us giggling).

How funny would it be, some wondered, if Ford began giving all their vehicles such easily adapted names?

Enter the “Explorer.” In 1991, two years after the unveiling of the Probe, Ford’s Explorer was marketed as a go anywhere, do anything dirt-road conqueror. The modern “SUV” was born but the laughter could no longer be suppressed. Given the obviousness with which Ford seems to be cracking wise, we thought we’d shed some light where it typically doesn’t shine…on the funny names that Ford tends to give its vehicles. (Why don’t they stick to car repair advice?)

With the above in mind, let’s have a look at Ford’s 8 best vehicle model names, the ones that, depending on your perspective, either enrapture like a full moon or, well, clearly bring up the rear.

8. Fusion – This seems like a model that will create complications for its owner.

7. Explorer/Expedition/Excursion/Escape – Proving that the joke never gets old.

6. Edge – Still difficult to define, though Ford calls it a “crossover.”

5. Flex – What is this, Pilates? No, it’s another “crossover.”

4. Focus – Ford’s focus is clearly on bringing you funnier car names.

3. Ranger – No, not that “Ranger,” even funnier and, amazingly, with less hair!

2. Fiesta – That’s right, it’s time for another “Fiesta,” this one scheduled for 2011.

1. Probe – Canceled after less than a decade; few customers had interest in a Probe.

Whether (F)unny (O)r (R)eally (D)amaging, these names remind us that some things are just a little funnier with the word “butt” in front, and that marketing cars isn’t always as easy as it might seem.

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